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  • Lois Vanessa Erhart


Updated: Feb 11

Pregnancy is a really good time to strengthen the bond you already have with your partner. Not only is it great for all the important birth hormones but it will encourage you to start laying the strong foundations on which you hope to build a family together. As I'm sure you've heard, becoming parents will change your relationship in many ways and personality traits you've never seen before in your partner may arise for the first time. You may already have noticed this in the pregnancy. Pregnancy allows women who may be guarded or reserved to speak their mind, create boundaries and reflect on their own needs and the needs of their child! Nature has made it so!

These are important personality traits to take with you and expand on. Any less desirable ones will also accompany both of you. Pregnant partners, perhaps, you're already envious of your partner and their ability to go rock climbing or drink alcohol. Perhaps partners you're jealous of the bond the mother of your child has already seemed to have formed. Jealousy on both sides is incredibly common and may also feature postpartum too. Be gentle with each other and mindful of where the other person finds themselves.

Oxytocin and physical touch can be very important in bringing on labor. However, there are many pregnant women who really don't like being touched in the pregnancy, and even more women who like being touched in the pregnancy but HATE being touched during labor. There is no right or wrong and partners, it doesnt mean youre doing anything wrong! This is something the mothers cannot and should not try to control. You can support your birthing partner in so many better ways. All encouraging healthy endorphins and oxytocin!

What I would encourage all of you to do is write a letter to each other, to be opened at the beginning of labor. This should be a love letter, telling your partner all the things you love about them, what has made you proud of them and how you hope to support them and be a strong parent team. Be as kind and generous and loving as you can!

It would be great if you wrote another letter to each other for the day's postpartum telling your partner all the reasons you're glad they are the father/mother of your child and how proud you are of them. But more on that later!

Perhaps you already have exercises or hobbies that encourage trust or connection. These last days of pregnancy are the time for all of this! Laugh together, go on dates, spend long mornings in bed together, watch your favorite movies or cook your favorite meal. Think of the third trimester as three months of Valentine's Days. Treat each other with a lot of love and kindness. This is your special time as a duo, before your baby joins the family.


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